In honour of Valentine's Day and the crazy paced world we live in, I thought this quote was a perfect fit for today. We as women, are stretched thin to our max, with the multiple pressures we face daily. The superwoman syndrome plagues most of us as we try our best to please everyone, and end up doing a shitty job resulting in pleasing no one.
I once read that it's a wise idea when, at work, to leave family aside and focus 100% on work. Vice versa at home, leave your work at the office when home. Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? The truth is, we take on too much, give everyone a teeny tiny slice of the pie in terms of time and effort, and wind up feeling like a failure in all regards.
It's easy enough to make plans with an abundance of people, just to keep our social calendars busy. It's easy enough to say "yes" to every project that comes up at work or to volunteer for things that make us feel important and cause-worthy.
How often have you been made to feel guilty as a working mother, who can't quite compete with the 20 year old in the office who takes on more than you have time to commit to? How often have you as a friend been made to feel guilty for not calling back your girlfriends because you're wrapped up in the daily grind of lunches, homework and meltdowns? How often as a young single person have you been made to feel guilty for not attending family functions and/or moving out of the country to explore your youth? Or you're in a new relationship and your friends feel you are blowing them off? We are all somehow battling a personal dilemma of time management and I bet have been both the finger pointer and pointee in the above mentioned situations. I often say to my husband that I don't think the real issues lie between the finger pointing spouses who claim each other aren't pulling their weight. Perhaps both are trying, to the best of their ability to get it all done, and two people just aren't enough to manage a household, career, kids, social pretences, family and friend commitments, working out etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
I've recently done some self analysis and have taken some very key people in my life for granted. Friends who've been there forever and I assume always will, as I carelessly tossed them aside for new adventures and fun. Not really toss them aside, but you know....reply with one word answer texts, avoid coffee date catchups while in the background sending page long texts and emails to clients and acquaintances who in my heart, I know would never do the same for me.
Then there's my husband, my best friend, support system, truest person in my life who I most definitely take for granted at times. I complain about our differences, point out the things he does not do well and all the while not realizing that when my world crumbles down, it's his arms that comfort me, it's him who has my back, and it only and always comes down to him and I.
I once had a girlfriend tell me that I worry too much about everyone else. She said that at the end of the day, she only worries about her own front doorstep. I once wrote a blog post called Sink or Swim which discussed the nature of a natural disaster, and who you would first think to protect. These are your people. Don't let temporary moments with temporary people ever cloud that notion. Your family is whomever you want it to be. But make sure that whomever you are spending your precious time with, is worth it. Because at the end of the day, all we have is time. And time with the wrong people, takes away from time with the right ones.
Happy Valentine's Day, Lovers.